Oscars 2010: The worst show I've ever seen!!

Wow. Colorless, drab, completely lacking in humor, and pretty much down to the bare bones entertainment. I'm certainly not talking about the nominees or winners on Sunday night. I'm focusing on how jaw droppingly bad the actual ceremony was!

For starters, Steve Martin and Alec Baldwin were pretty unfunny. In all the promos, they promised 'a show like nothing we've seen before'. Yeah...BAD!! Neil Patrick Harris' opening number seemed strange because he's a television actor. What was he doing opening the Academy Awards? As the progression of presenters began, the camera couldn't help but continuously glance over at the "Twilight" cast. WE KNOW, ALREADY! And yet when it came time for Kristen Stewart to present, she had to turn her head and cough in the middle of a sentence. Jeez, girl...get off the crack!

Would someone please tell me what was up with the rack of lamp shades used as background?! Did the production designer go to Home Depot or Lowe's, only to be taken in by the 'as-is' display hanging above the lighting department? Pathetic! What happened to last year's amazingly creative sets and backgrounds?! Now THAT was an Oscar show!! Probably the best one I've seen in years! Why did they scrap that for this piece of shit?

Now let's get the whole 'in memorium' thing out of the way. This was one of last year's hold over ideas of having an artist play live in front of giant screens showing those who passed during the previous year. The beginning was sloppily shot, starting wide so you couldn't even see Patrick Swayze's face closely, since he was first. And of course, what the internet is all abuzz about....WHERE THE HELL WAS FARRAH FAWCETT?!!! Michael Jackson?! No offense to the man, but give me a fucking break! He was in "The Wiz" and his own post passing concert movie. The latter doesn't even really count. Farrah Fawcett starred in SO many more movies including "Logan's Run"...yes, "LOGAN'S RUN", a movie everyone seems to put as an after thought following "Cannonball Run" and a few others. I'd have to say that was one of her more iconic appearances in film, even though it was a small part with not a lot of depth...but who cares!

The truly amazing thing is that it was not just an oversight, is was in fact intentional! Assholes! You can read The Academy's apology (if you even call it that) here.

Also...HELLO, Henry Gibson!! The man was in "The Blues Brothers" and "Nashville" to name a few and I think those alone guarantees him a place in that memorium. How about Gene Barry? One of the man's most iconic roles is in an iconic movie; George Pal's "War of the Worlds"! Where was he?

Then came the Kenya West moment of the evening. Producer/Director Roger Ross Williams was interrupted during his acceptance speech for his short documentary “Music By Prudence” by former co-producer Elinor Burkett whom Williams had shunned from the Oscar ramp-up due to a falling out. Sounds like she deserved it. And by the way, was it it me or did she seem like the embodiment of Kyle's mother Sheila Broflovski on "South Park"?

Time for the Best Original Score Oscar. Street dancers doing interpretive dance that has nothing to do with the music or movie?! SERIOUSLY?!! We were dumbfounded by this display of idiotically misplaced entertainment. Truly a WTF moment. Who the hell hired these guys to produce the show?

Was VERY happy for Jeff Bridges winning his first Oscar after four previous nominations! Note the strange, continuous use of the word 'man' in his acceptance speech. Certainly Sandra Bullock was the odds-on favorite to take Best Actress, and well deserved. Historic moment when Kathryn Bigelow became the first woman to win the Oscar for Best Director. However my only problem was when "The Hurt Locker" won Best Picture. Did I think it deserved such an honor? No. Should "Avatar" have reigned supreme over the top spot? Hard to say. I did feel there were a few other films in the ten picture race that might have deserved the trophy even more.

I'd seen "The Hurt Locker" on DVD just a few weeks before the Academy Awards. And I have to say is I found it kind of muddled. There were scenes in the middle that just dragged on forever. I understood the whole 'war is a drug' mentality, but never felt like it was a profound idea that came to the surface through all the chaos of war. By the end of the movie I found myself thinking 'O.K...so that was...interesting'. There were definitely intense moments in the film, and the cast was superb. But once the credits rolled I merely felt that I was glad I finally saw it, but don't need to see it again. It wasn't bad at all, very good in fact. Just not a 'wow, that was great!' film. I'd probably have to say the movie that comes to the surface that might have been the best Best Picture pic is "Up in the Air". Just a really well written screenplay with great performances and a few perfectly inserted twists and turns along the way, keying the audience in that this is no happy ending story.

Random observance: The Best Cinematography nominees, that should have been read with the glorious images from the films they represented, became just a rundown of names on a big screen in cold white text. Jeez!!

I would definitely have to say the highlight of the evening was the John Hughes tribute, presented by Molly Ringwald and Matthew Broderick, bookended with them being joined by Anthony Michael Hall, Ally Sheedy, Judd Nelson, and Macaulay Culkin. O.K. so maybe we could have done without him, but of course he was the star of Hughes biggest grossing film. BTW, a lot of people are buzzing about Judd Nelson's look. Have they not been paying attention to how he's been dressing for years outside of roles he plays on TV, etc.? My only comment was about how he seemed to start shouting when his turn came to speak.

And yet, where was Emilio Estevez? Please, he could have made time for this! I understand he's in the middle of directing his next feature, and maybe the MTV Movie Awards tribute to "The Breakfast Club" a few years back was not his thing. But come on!! Show some love during the Academy Awards, will ya?! John Hughes helped to put you square on the map. Was really glad to see Hughes family in the audience. One of his sons looks JUST like him when he was so much younger!

So all in all, this year's Academy Award's show SUCKED!!! Sack the bastards who produced this lifeless and emotionless piece of shit, PLEASE! I'm amazed some of the critics have called this year 'nicely streamlined'. PPFFFF!!! Get off the crack! BRING BACK THE AMAZING DISPLAY OF HOLLYWOOD GOLD THAT WAS LAST YEAR'S PRESENTATION!!! That was truly the best Oscars I've seen, and yes I'm saying it again!