Why the new "Star Trek" movie is going to SUCK!
'Reimagined'. The first time I saw that word was on a teaser 1-sheet for Tim Burton's "Planet Of The Apes" remake. I liked the way the word sounded and what it conjured up creatively. Over the past eight years I've learned to feel disgust and fear whenever I hear it mentioned or see it in print.
Saw the new trailer for J.J. Abrams "Star Trek" before "Watchmen" during the midnight show. Before that was the new "Terminator: Salvation" trailer which I was very excited to see on the big screen (Director McG premiered it at WonderCon in the main event room). However, the reception for that, which was pretty good, paled in comparison to the cheers and whoops that followed Kirk and crew doing a whole bunch of things I just kept shaking my head at. And that head shaking exceeded the number of times I did during "Indiana Jones And The Kingdom Of The Crystal Skull". Here are just a few of the reasons why the new "Star Trek" is going to suck. Yes, True Believers, I said SUCK!
First off, all the action scenes look like something out of one of the "Star Wars" prequels (bad 'ol prequels!). Every frame is filled with a flurry of phaser firings, ships exploding, and general over-the-top mayhem. Jeez, reel it in, would ya! This is not "Star Trek"...at least not the Kirk, Spock, and McCoy version we should be getting.
Also:
- Kirk has a relationship with Uhura?
- Kirk and Spock have a fist fight on the bridge?
- Space skydiving?!
WTF! Again, this is not "Star Trek"! Call me a purist (which I am and where I speak from), but that's the way I see it.
The minute I saw the first still of the new Enterprise (overly bulbus warp engines?) I knew this thing was going down the wrong path. Plus a couple of images of the new bridge, which some have said looks like something you'd see in an Apple store.
Big Red Flag!: J.J. Abrams never was a "Star Trek" fan. But he LOVES "Star Wars"! Nothing wrong with that...BUT THE TWO DO NOT MIX! However, I'm sure all the fanboys who hold those sometimes obnoxious prequels high above the alter of George Lucas worship, will drink this head shaker in like it was his very life giving blood.
We'll see how this 'reimagining' goes come May 8.
2 Comments:
LOL
But we will agree to disagree. I think they had to go one of two ways with the franchise; Re-Imagine it or leave it the hell alone.
The five year mission has been so worked over (since ST:TNG) that it has been wrung dry of any originality or characters we care about. Paramount should have put it to rest for a lot longer then they did.
But they didn't, so lets just reboot and retool the whole tribble-lovin' mess. Younger cast, crazier stunts, bigger effects, new ship - the whole shootin' match. Think of it as an issue of Marvel's "What if...?" comic series.
I mean c'mon, they keep reinventing the Terminator series too don't they?
Maybe, just maybe it WON'T suck. Most likely it will but there is that slim chance that it might be o.k.
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